What Brings Me Comfort

by Joxter Boldt

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What brings me comfort
Is the first dawn after a monsoon,
The light tentatively resting its feet upon the wind-torn earth
And then it gains confidence
Striding upon the drowned land
Spreading its shimmering rays
Till the brilliance of the sun
Dried our cheeks.

It is the tears that wash away blood upon hands
Proof that my heart still beats within my chest
And that I still love myself enough -
To mourn the pain I’ve caused
Cut across my skin
So deep my eyes close
And I say I am sorry.

It is the soft fur of my cat
The long stare of my dog
A calm quiet
Warmth in my bones.

It is the knowledge that my worst mistakes
And the life-ending moments
Let me be who I am today
And will let me choose who I’ll be in the future.

It is the certainty that after it all -
The deepest wound
The harshest hurricane
Rending hurt across my soul -
I shall still stand
And fight for what I hold dear
For I can forgive my past
I can carve my present
And the future...
Well, the future has not happened.

What brings me comfort
Is the life I’ve been granted
In all its ugliness
And immense beauty
In all its unending cruelty
And its soft comfort
It is the love I hold,
And the love I share.
Truly -
No matter what battles I face,
How much I change,
I shall always be -
Me.